There are two sides, and there will be no peace until one is destroyed. Last Days of the Third Age is a Lord of the Rings mod that simulates total war better than any other.
For a somewhat more difficult but very flavorful start, choose 'received a message that changed your life' at the end of character creation. Alternatively do whatever the fuck you want.
Focus on mounted archery and two handed weapons if you want efficiency. You're likely to struggle early on (there's no shame in loading saves - this is a hard game), but by the end you'll be a terrifying monstrosity. Prophesy of Pendor is probably the most famous mod, and for good reason. My favorite feature is the custom backgrounds with an actual story humans can be a stranded merchant or disgraced warrior seeking revenge, and dwarves actually get a really cool mini-dungeon to start out that rewards you with enough gold and renown to start quite well. Elves, Dwarves, Giants, crazy-ass weapons. Perisno is gonna be the go-to 'fantasy' mod. Getting through mail with a sword is not going to be easy, and I haven't yet seen anything more advanced than a coat of plates - which, by the way, cost as much as a high end enterprise.
It's a fair depiction of medieval Europe, and makes weapons and armor feel more authentic. Anno Domini 12-something is my favorite at the minute.
